I *heart* Pantera!

Today my abs are screaming at me.

So is my butt.

Oh, yes, and my thighs. 

Yep, my adductors, too.

My body is totally toasted.  And, I am extremely pleased.  I love that feeling.  That sweetly painful post-hardest-workout-of-your-life feeling.  Mine was brought on courtesy of a petite powerhouse known in the Pole Dancing world as Pantera.  She is a slave driver.  I’m serious.  Thankfully, I love slave drivers!

Pantera came to our studio for two days of intense workshops, private lessons, and Core Classes.  Needless to say, we had all seen her videos on YouTube and even watched her Pole Tricks DVD.  We were a bit intimidated. 

I signed myself up for her Intermediate Workshop – 2 ½ hours of instruction – and her Total Core Class – 1 hour of focused core work.  I was looking forward to learning from a pro and had no idea of the pure “hurty” goodness I was about to endure.

Let me get this off my chest.  Those of you who follow Studio Soiree on Twitter or FaceBook or MySpace probably already know that I have developed a girl-crush on Pantera.  For those of you who don’t, I totally have a girl-crush on Pantera.  How could you not?  She has a rockin’ body, excellent posture, the cutest little nose ever, and she is hilarious!  And, when she dances, she looks like she is suspended from wires.  So, just know that this blog will be colored by this fact.

There were about 7 of us attending her Intermediate Level Workshop.  All of us stood around nervously, trying hard to make sure Pantera liked us (Wait, I think that was just me).  She had us sign some paperwork just to make sure we wouldn’t sue her if we dropped ourselves on our heads.  As each of us signed up, she went through our names and memorized them.  She was good at this.  By the time class started she could call each of us by name.  I think maybe that’s when my little crush developed – I’m a sucker for someone Famous getting to know the little guys.

Pantera took us through warm ups.  She does this thing with your hands and arms which made me want to remove those particular limbs from my body.  My triceps are still sore from the pounding they took.  We moved from there to squats because we want to have a pretty bottom.  We stretched a lot.  We warmed up for almost 45 minutes.  I was pretty much ready to call it quits, but did not want to seem like a wimp in front of one of the greats!  We moved onto abs.  Oh, lord.  I cannot even begin to tell you how awesome my abs will look after I incorporate Pantera’s exercises into my daily (alright!  Every other day) regimen.  She made me want to cry.

Then she asked us what we wanted to work on the most.  “Shoulder Mounts” was the general consensus.  We all hate the Shoulder Mount – it’s ok, you can go ahead and admit it.  They hurt, they feel weird, and, they hurt.  But, we all do them because they look so freakin’ impressive.  Pantera had us show her our shoulder mounts.  But before we even got a toe off the floor, she said the words that each of us did not want to hear “No jumping, kicking, or swinging into it”.  Huh?  Was she serious?  I mean, how are you supposed to get your ass above your head if you can’t kick up?  We all looked at each other.  “If you can’t do it without kicking up, then don’t do it”.  Crap.  Then, since none of us could manage that, we proceeded to exercises that would build up the necessary core muscles in order to do a shoulder mount without the kicking.  Can you say “Holy Crap, Pantera!”?  Amazing…..and “hurty”.

So, Pantera is off to another lucky studio, where I am sure some other cute 40 year old will develop a crush on her, and where everyone will get their butts kicked by her wonderful brand of torture.  If you live anywhere near a studio that is hosting her workshops you should immediately sign up and be there.  Your butt, abs, thighs, and your heart will thank you!